Relationships are meant to be reciprocal, not one-sided, where there is a mutual give and take on what is essentially a two-way street — right? And where both parties share a 50/50 responsibility for effort, time, support, respect and communication — right?
Well, yes, but from our experience, information about reciprocity in relationships usually focuses on personal relationships and stops short of professional relationships, leaving a gap in understanding and advice for the leader and follower work dynamic.
So, what about the less-discussed but equally important professional relationship?
Most discussions on leadership focus on helping the leader do a better job of leading. While this is a critical piece of the puzzle, our focus is on empowering followers to take ownership of their role in the leader/follower relationship and drive their own development. The Situational Leadership® Model provides a unique and applicable foundation for building this relationship reciprocity and reaping its benefits for both leaders and followers. Let’s explore the nature of this important leader/follower exchange through the lens of reciprocity and issue a call to action in service of its improvement.
Disablers and enablers of reciprocity
At its core, the leader/follower relationship has not been reciprocal in the traditional 50/50 sense of the word because of the “hardware” in organizations, including hierarchical organizational structures, old-fashioned power structures and command-and-control style cultural norms. However, the “software” in the workplace has evolved quite a bit, as leaders now often share accountability for results as well as responsibility for development with their team members.
We believe there is yet another evolutionary opportunity in relationship reciprocity to continue to increase engagement and opportunities for both leader and follower success. This next lever is the commitment that leaders and followers made with each other at the time of hire.
In the interview process, the leader typically shares with the follower the many positive aspects of the organization’s culture, as well as the offer of opportunities for innovation and growth. In turn, the follower shares with the leader the varied contributions they would make to the organization and the high-quality work they would produce. In essence, both parties agree to “put their best foot forward” and commit to the same outcomes and, as such, to stay motivated and engaged throughout the employment journey.
Flipping the script on this agreement and ignoring or abandoning the relationship by either party is not an acceptable outcome. Both should seek to hold up their end of “the bargain” and work to improve their relationship as well as their performance.
The Situational Leadership Model: A shared framework
The Situational Leadership Model provides a shared language and structure for balancing reciprocity between leaders and followers. It’s based on the idea that effective leadership is not a fixed style, but a flexible approach based on the follower’s Performance Readiness® Level — their ability and willingness.
Here’s how the four leader styles and four follower styles align within the model:
| Leader style | Leadership focus | Follower Performance Readiness® Level | Follower behaviors |
| Telling (S1) | High direction, low support: tells what to do, how and when | R1 (“Unable and Insecure or Unwilling”) | Apprehensive, avoiding or defensive; making no progress |
| Selling (S2) | High direction, high support: explains why, provides feedback, persuades | R2 (“Unable but Confident or Willing”) | Eager to learn, enthusiastic, interested and receptive to input |
| Participating (S3) | Low direction, high support: involves in decisions, encourages autonomy | R3 (“Able but Insecure or Unwilling”) | Anxious or frustrated; seeks reinforcement and questions ability |
| Delegating (S4) | Low direction, low support: entrusts tasks and responsibility | R4 (“Able and Confident and Willing”) | Demonstrates expertise through consistent performance; self-reliant and works autonomously |
This model shows that both leader and follower behaviors must adapt — not just the leaders alone. Followers also evolve, moving from needing direction to owning results and driving impact. They can take a more active role in this process by proactively informing their leader of their performance needs and contracting for the corresponding leadership style.
A dual responsibility: Leadership and followership in balance
To create truly reciprocal relationships, both leaders and followers have essential roles to play.
Leaders must:
- Adapt intentionally: Understand where each follower is in their development and adjust their leadership style accordingly.
- Create space for ownership: Give your team members the opportunity to come to you with their performance questions and concerns through 1:1s and regular check-ins. As they develop, give them opportunities to take on more meaningful tasks that provide opportunities to grow and lead.
- Model accountability: Admit mistakes, ask for feedback and be transparent about expectations and decision-making.
Followers must:
- Own their development: Don’t wait for growth to be handed down. Ask for feedback, seek challenges and push their learning curve.
- Be accountable for their impact: Take responsibility not just for tasks, but for how their actions affect the team and outcomes.
- Invite collaboration: Share ideas, speak up in meetings and help shape the relationship with their leader — not just react to it.
A call to action: Bridging perspectives f
